It's been a year since I even so much as touched this account. Yikes.
It felt pretty jarring to finally log back on and see the flood of journals and deviations. And kinda disheartening. I missed out on a lot of awesome artwork and stories and such, and I want to apologize for just...straight-out disappearing like that.
I have been considering rebooting this account for a long time now. There's a lot of my old art I can't stand to look at anymore, but I've never believed in putting art into storage and robbing people (who for some inexplicable reason still like looking at my work) the chance to still keep it in their favorites. There's still a few stories and ideas floating around in my head that, one of these days, I need to flesh out and post.
Hell, the only art I've really been making since May is for my other.. adult-themed dA account. And I still wonder if it's a waste of my skills. I sure don't intend to make a living as an ero-artist/writer but as of lately, it's been a huge outlet for me. One that I know without a doubt my parents would shun me for.
Things haven't been easy since graduating college. I'm at a stand-still, hovering between not being quite able to leave my job in retail yet and figuring out what the hell it is that I want to do with my art degree. I've practically fallen off the face of the earth in regards to my close friends back where I'm from, and the friends I met online that really gave me a reason to be happy at the end of each day. I fight off anxiety and dread for the future every night before I go to sleep. I'm dealing with medical issues beyond depression that leaves me feeling fatigued every day whether I work that day or not. How ironic that the last journal I have up here is one about depression; which I actually did manage to defeat at the end of my Hellish senior year in college, only to spiral back into a slump.
I'm trying hard to keep myself motivated but even on my other account, I'm disappointing people by not having the motivation to reply to Notes (though it certainly doesn't help that Notes doesn't always cooperate...) and... I just don't know where to go from here. One side of me tells me to fight the power, go out there and enjoy the world and show people what I can do with my art... and the other side of me is just terrified.
Bleh, enough of my whining. This is a battle I'll win one way or another. It's just an exhausting ride.